The Roller Coaster of Life!!

Since Friday I have had some serious ups and downs.

It started on Friday with quite alot of stress at work. I had a lot to accomplish and I did manage it, however both my bosses were going to be on holiday until today (Wednesday) and that we had some 200 urgent samples that needed doing and the data had to be checked and out by (this) Friday. So without going to in depth into what I have to do for my job, I had to do about 4 hours work on Friday (not in total! just on one thing) then one of my friends was going to come in on Sunday and put it on an instrument (mass spec if you care). I was told before my bosses disappeared that it had to work! So that put on quite a bit of pressure.... This was trough one!

Then I hit a peak. I went away to Otford manor in Kent. It's in a beautiful part of the country and the weather was magnificent. I was there to help out around the place as the had a (50 strong!!) worship group from one of the churches in London staying. So lunch needed preparing, as did dinner and breakfast (probably not in that order!), toilets needed cleaning. The place just needed to keep ticking over! It was wonderful to be part of a good team. A Christian team. Everyone helped out with a smile on their face which was great! I got some time to chill out and had a wander around the grounds. Anyway, this was fantastic. I then headed back into London on Sunday and chilled out with my brother which was amazing (I love hanging out with my family) we had out usual just me and him chat about all things technological and film where I often ask a question that he starts answering then I ask another and so it goes on till we have entirely forgotten the original question! Anyway so this was great. Peak One.

Then I got into work on Monday, to find that the stuff that "had" to work didn't. This was a pain. So there were three of us (a senior scientist, a scientist and me a student scientist) trying to figure out what to do. Which we proceeded to do. Fortunately the scientist (we shall call her Barry) redid all my Friday work and ran that over night. While me and the senior scientist (we'll call her Victor) planned the next few days (still with the intention of trying to get all 200 samples done before one of my bosses came back on Wednesday (today). This was stressful. Trough 2.

Tuesday got better. The work that Barry did passed. So we decided to do all three batches (including the 200 samples) on Tuesday. All three of us worked pretty hard and well as a team. But this is what made it fantastic: Barry and I often have chats about religion. I'm a Christian and she's a Sikh. We often ask questions about each others religions. Also recently we've been talking about music. These two topics came into a collision! We were both waiting for something and when we got what we were waiting for she said Hallelujah. This made her start singing Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen/Jeff Buckley/Rufus Wainwright/Alexandra Burke/Kate Voegele (Pick your favourite!) Anyway we started discussing the lyrics and all she could remember was "She tied you to a kitchen chair!" So she was asking what Hallelujah has to do with BDSM! Anyway! I explained to her how the song chatted about a number of bible characters. In that case Samson ("She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne and she cut your hair"). So I explained the story of Samson to her (and the surrounding people who were working around us in our lab). It then led on to David ("I've heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord" and " Your faith was strong but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof.." And so I explained the story of David. However it made me realise how I "know" but don't know in depth the story of David. Where he came from, where Goliath fits in his story, when did he start playing the harp for Saul, where does Jonathon come in, etc! After going through that she said "Who was the guy with the lions?" So we went on to chatting about Daniel. Again I asked myself the same questions. I don't really know the order of Daniels life, where were the lions, where do rack, shack and benny fit in (check out vegetales!). All these questions flooded into my head! But all the time I was thinking what a blessing it was to be asked about the bible! I didn't know all the answers, but that's ok! Hopefully something of my explanations of God's role in all of these stories made have sunk in. Who knows! Peak 2

Then I got in for work this morning. Found out that because of (we think) a small error I made, all the three batches we did (15 hours work in total between 3 of us) failed. This was not good. I make alot of mistakes at work and each of them I take pretty hard. Also Barry doesn't really let me forget that I make mistakes. She's often reminding me to be careful and that I'm untrustworthy with things. Sometimes it's fine. Other times it can really get to me. We had to redo all the work again today. I'm exhausted. I'm stressed. and I have very little food in the house! But I don't want to shop until after the weekend (am heading to London again, dead excited (again!))
The stresses of this week have been piling up. I don't know if I'm going to make it to Friday! I can't believe it's only Wednesday! Trough 3

All is not lost though.
God is faithful and he will keep me going through. He gives me strength. I was on facebook before I wrote this and a friend's status said this: 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' (even if it is through gritted teeth!). I found it strangely apt!

The photos are from my lovely walk in Otford.

Done for now.

One of Life's Great Pleasures...

This shall be short, firstly because it has no "deep" philosophical/spiritual point, secondly it's rare I get to blog my thoughts soon after I have them (I'm usually at work or in bed!) So I haven't had time to mull! Anyway...

Sometimes there are moments in life that seem almost entirely perfect.

I just had one of those moments.

It's Sunday lunch time (albeit a tad late). I have made myself a fantastic (if I do say my self) effectively bangers and mash, although I prefer it's less common name of sausages, potato that has been pulverized by a plastic instrument, and peas. To accompany this I made the most delightful gravy (part water, oxo cube, bovril, red wine and lea 'n' perrins). The pulverized potato had roasted garlic in it. Yum. Anyway the foods not the most important thing here!

I decided to sit outside at my garden table and eat this as it was sunny.

This became the 90% moment. It was beautiful sunshine. My food was extra scrummy. The beas were flying among the overgrown dandelions in my unkempt "wild look" garden, yet keeping far enough away from me not to bring on my (I think rational, others would argue against this) fear of being stung. All in all just wonderful.

The 90% lacks from 100% (as 90% always does! (I've never found 90% to be the same as 100%). To make this up to 100% it breaks down like this.
1% - Have my family with me.
1% - Have some but not all my close friends (Don't want it to be a party just a friendly gathering).
1% - Have Becca around.
2% - Be somewhere more beautiful. Yorkshire would do the trick wonderfully.
1% - Not have to go back to work tomorrow.
1% - Not feel like I would burn if I was out here too long.
1% - Not have to worry about my report at all.
1% - Not have to wash up!
1% - Be able to stay there forever!

However 90% is no bad thing! So am happy.
Hold onto such moments for they are ones that stick with you and ones you will look back on with fondness.

Life Calling...Some time soon?

So! Now I know that at least one person reads this I shall try and make it vaguely interesting (I would say entertaining but I've never been much of a writer)

I have been listening to music recently. I like music it does lots of things for me, it can relax me (Chopin), entertain me (Colette McKendrick), get me (silently and in my head) rocking (Nickelback) but the thing I love most of all is that it can speak to me. I love it when certain words (or to be more technically correct I think "lyrics" is what they call it in the industry) have a meaning that sticks with me. Often it's very easy just to listen to the "bangin'" tune. Appreciate the riffs and musicianship but miss out on the words being said. Although sometimes the words are challenging to distinguish! (The comical mishearing of Hillsong United's "All I need is You" (On Look to You and With hearts as one) Where it says "You hold the universe, You hold every one on earth" However for a long time I thought it was "You are the universe, You are everyone on earth!" My scriptural knowledge isn't everything I wish it was but I'm sure that's not quite what it says!) Anyway! Recently I have been listening to a very specific song, namely that of "The Call" by Regina Spektor. It is the start of the credits in The Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian. The lyrics of it are fascinating.

"It started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope, which then turned into a quiet thought which then turned into a quiet word, and then that word grew louder and louder 'till it was a battle cry, I'll come back when you call me no need to say goodbye."

I've been mulling over "calling" recently, how some people have very distinct calls to certain things. It can look easy. I know many people that know exactly what they want to do (but more importantly are called to do) However I also know many people (and this seems to be a common theme among university students) who have no idea. Being a Christian changes this. But does not make it any easier! The one comfort (in this sense) of being a Christian is that God knows the plan for us. However it can throw up different questions. Instead of "What am I going to do with my life?" it changes to "What does God want me to do with my life, how can I find out?" Sometimes it is obvious, as with my father. He was praying in a chapel and saw 7 stain glass windows, one with each of the sacraments.
(Sacraments for those of you who don't know are "special" (not sure what word to use there) to Catholics and I think traditional Church of England. Please feel free to correct that! Anyway they are... 1. Baptism 2. Confirmation 3. Ordination 4. The Eucharist (communion) 5. Confession 6. Healing the Sick 7. Marriage)
Anyway he was praying and suddenly knew that he was suddenly called to being ordained.
However. He got this calling when he was 50ish(?!) For thirty years before that he was a very good accountant! So what does this mean. Does this mean he wasn't called until that moment, or his calling changed. I haven't yet worked this one out and I have every intention of asking him. I guess what I intend to take from this is that God can call you at any age. Just because you don't feel called the day you graduate doesn't mean God hasn't got an incredible plan for you! Look at Moses!! He was 40 when he left Egypt (Acts 7:23) and he was 80! when he was called to "have a wee chat with Pharaoh" (Exodus 7:7) It's never too late!

Anyway back to the lyrics of the song. I really like this picture of a call. It just starts out as a feeling inside, then turns into a hope that makes you smile, that turns into a quiet thought and thus a possibility, which turned into a quiet word, and that word grew louder, and louder, and louder. Till it was a battle cry (I LOVE that image!) A battle cry speaks of progress, moving forward and taking the bull by it's horns. Take that call and pursue it.

Calls come in lots of different way and at lots of different times. The key is to be ready. I liken it to Matthew 25:1-13 entitled "The parable of the ten virgins". Although the story is about waiting for the Kingdom of Heaven, I am going to apply it here in 5 simple words!

You've Got To Be Ready

As the David Crowder band (but personally I prefer Ben Cantelon on Soul Survivor 2005 momentum CD) says.. "Turn your ear to Heaven". I can not stress enough how imperative it is to keep your eyes and ears on heaven. There's a whole sermon on this topic that I could happily give! I'm trying to work out where to stop but I can't yet! Almost though. There are many songs out there that explain what I'm trying to say. "Fix your eyes upon Jesus", "For the sake of the Call" (Steven Curtis Chapman - worth listening to!) "My Future Decided" (Hillsong United")

"My eyes on all of the above
My soul secure in all you've done
My minds made up
And you are the only one for me"

(Helps if you know what "all of the above" is! Is part of my Future Decided should you decide to look it up)

Right I'm losing steam now.
All I can say is that God has a plan for YOU. Even if you don't know it now he will reveal it just make sure you're chuffing listening! It may not be now but it will happen.
By the way, I don't know what my calling is yet. This has stressed me previously, but I know I can rest in God knowing he'll reveal it when he's ready. I just want to make sure I'm listening!

Here's a link to that original song I love so much. "The Call" - Regina Spektor
Phew.
Done for now.

Personal Disappointment!

I am a little disappointed with myself.
About a month ago (ish) I went on a snowboarding holiday with my best friend and a few other guys. Was a really great "lads" holiday (in a Christian was, (it was a Christian organised holiday). We were there for two weeks which was awesome in itself. While we were there we were both approached by two of the leaders, my friend was approached by the snowboarding instructor and I was approached by the leader of the week. Anyway to cut a long story short, they asked us both to get involved in helping run/organise/be a part of the team. I jumped at the opportunity. So much so that almost as soon as I got home I filled out and sent off an application form.

In two weeks I will be going to the "headquarters" of this company to stay for a weekend to help out with a group that will be there, basically seeing if I would fit in the teams that they take away. I hope very much I do, as they organise Summer and Winter holidays. However I have been struggling recently with keeping up with my Spiritual disciplines of praying and reading the bible, and somehow the thought has crept into my mind that I will need to pretend to be "better" (over sized inverted commas intentional) than I am. That I would need to try and convince them I am a "better" christian than I am for them to accept me. There are thousands of things wrong with this. Firstly I have been saved from sin just like everyone else. Jesus died for me, just like he did for everyone else. Thus I am no worse than anyone else (and coincidentally no better!) We have all fallen short of God and all need saving and I have been saved. Secondly, if I were to pretend to be better than I am, I am sure that they would see right through it! It's pretty obvious when you get a "fake" Christian. Someone who says the right things and does the right things but without God's love. Thirdly, we all struggle at times! That's often how we grow stronger. Just because we are in a tough spot does not mean we are no longer a Christian or a rubbish one. Jesus was led into the desert by the Holy Spirit. What makes us think we won't be.

But here's the most important part:

The Holy Spirit also led Jesus out of the desert. He did not leave Him stranded! The desert has its place in our spiritual journey but is not the "be all and end all".

I want to go to the weekend with the Holy Spirit flowing out of me, but I also want to be myself. Both very attainable! But the next two weeks I need to kick myself into gear. Spend less time checking facebook and twitter (@macmacdonald) and spend more time praying, reading the bible and generally hanging out with Jesus! It's such an easy thing to do that doesn't involve kneeling with your head bowed and hands clasped! But is too easy to not to do what you want to do! "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me" Romans 7:21

Pray for me.

Done for now.

First one's a charm?

So...
I've been meaning to write this for some time. Largely since I got back fromSkiing in Switzerland but it's taken me a while to rediscover the fire. I'm a big fan of reading other peoples blogs but I thought it is quite a handy way of getting down your own thoughts. I'm also contemplating not telling anyone I'm writing this and seeing if anyone ends up reading it, through chance/stalking/bizarre conincidence.

I was struggling to think of a title. But then I thought what will this incur, which "department" if you will, of my thoughts will this encompass? And I think, although not exclusively, it will be my more "spiritual" (oh I do dislike that word, it has some air of petty superiority possibly put on it my yours truely!) thoughts that come out. As well as random things I see and like and feel need to comment upon! However on second thoughts I thought I would just leave be as something rather normal

I find it interesting that there are many many multitudes of people on the planet, everyone with a different story. But more than that, our stories (fortunately for otherwise it would be very lonely) cross paths thus bending warping and changing other people's stories. Sometimes (I like to think often) for better and sadly sometimes for worse.

My blogging story starts here. After having lots of thoughts after my holiday to the Swiss, I thought I would post them here. However due to the lack of organisation (my main downfall) they have skipped my mind as it has been something like 4 weeks since I got back and have been on another holiday since then!
I was awesomely privileged to go to Egypt. My best friend is spending a year out there and so 4 of us (Me, his fiancée, his brother and his fiancées brother! (Quite a family affair) went out to see him.
It was a real mixture of emotions that week! There were some tears (many from laughter, some from sadness) Some frustration (like trying to be ripped of by one egyptian cab dirver and my friend coming out with the line "I'm not a retard" in Arabic!) All in all a wonderful adventure to a new culture. I took 500 photos while I was there (I love photography) and I have put 150ish up on my photo website Click this link for photos! Anyway! The point of this is that I was vaguely hoping that I would get a good chance to chat to my best friend about being a christian and some of the struggles I've been having. However this never really happened. Due to noone's (is it noone or no one?) fault. So in that sense the trip wasn't quite as successful as I had hoped. But it was wonderful none the less!.

So I think as this blog progresses it might move and twist and turn. I am not going to say I'll update/post a new post every week because I will only disappoint myself, but when something comes to mind or I need to get something out I shall update and expect no one (I tried the other one this time) to read it. As it is I am also trying to figure out how to blog from my (much loved (a little too much)) iPhone. But as it is I shall just enjoy reading the blogs I do so far and see what happens with this!

Done for now.