That's what I'm to do?! Seriously?

So weird things have happened recently. Both myself and my dearest, have had minor inspiration about what we want to do with our lives! Both within about 2 months of each other. This is having deliberated and stressed and laughed at how little of an idea we both had before this time.

She shall tell you what she wants to do in her own time.

I however shall mention it in some detail here!
After having completed three years of my course I realised that at the end of this year university will stop (unless I decide otherwise (post-grad rather than failing! (hopefully))). I will be out into the world blah blah blah I've heard this alot from different people. It's something the relatives and estranged family friends ask frequently. Either through poor memory or general poor conversational skills it comes up alot! I realised it was time to sit down and work out what I could do. I had a chat with my brother-in-law who is relatively wise in such things (and is facing a relatively similar dilemma himself) and we discussed the possibility of further education or going back to where I did my placement, it was a useful chat but inconclusive.

So I was thinking, "what is it that I enjoy?" Well, I rather enjoy people and being sociable, I also rather enjoy taking photos of said people! This led me on to the possibly obvious conclusion that I would rather like to become a photographer! I've realised that I have been surprisingly fortunate in three different ways (when it relates to photography). In chronological order the first of these is my brother. I put it down to his influence that I picked up a camera in the first place. His appreciation for it (and his willingness to teach me) helped me start. Obviously at first it was something I did rarely as I didn't have a camera but as he got better and moved into the realms of the DSLR he gave me his previous camera, my first digital camera, a sony cybershot "bridge" camera. (Bridge meaning that it wasn't a small point and shoot compact camera but it wasn't an SLR, a nice "bridge" between the two). However over time I grew out of it and longed for a camera that would take a photo when I pressed the shutter button rather than 2.5 seconds later! I then received a Canon 400D for a birthday/Christmas present which I still have and use frequently. Not only did my brother give me my first camera, he also engineered my second camera (purely by ensuring it was a Canon) so that any accessories and lenses that he bought and I bought would be interchangeable between his cameras and mine. Often I will ask him if I can borrow a specific lens or a specific piece of equipment and more often than not it won't be a problem! So that is fantastic opportunity no. 1.

Fantastic opportunity no. 2 is also my brothers doing! Although only through coincidence. He lives with a lovely girl called Suzie Fields, who, unsurprisingly for this story, is a professional photographer. From the first time I went to stay at her house for a weekend we got on well and talked cameras and photos (you should check out hers http://www.flashfields.com/) and she gave me ideas. She also took a look at my "portfolio" (http://www.macmacphotography.com/) and wasn't particularly encouraging and said she could find something wrong with every photo if she wanted to, but said that I had potential and gave me some advice that she said was pivotal when she was learning that I have taken on board and crosses my mind frequently. She also said that if I ever was in London and wanted to follow her around (as an assistant) then I could, something I'm hoping to try and make use of over the Christmas. Networking in any job is important, often, as the phrase goes: "It's not what you know but who you know." I think in the photography world this is only partially true as you do have to have some kind of vision and skill but it doesn't hurt to know alot of useful people!

Fantastic opportunity no. 3 has only recently presented itself and is something that I fear I should have made better use of when I could. That is the photographic society and university. I've only just started getting involved with them this year because at times I have met some people from this society and they have seemed rather pretentious and a little up themselves. Possibly a bit judgemental I know, sorry. Also from what I have gathered this year is that there is an upper echelon of "in-jokes". However they have been putting on some useful workshops on different topics, many of which I know about (shutter speed/aperture). Many of which I don't though. The other useful thing they do is link up very closely with the modelling society. I was almost put off this idea before I went along because my ignorant nature thinks:

Pretentious photographers + Stuck up "I'm so gorgeous" models = People I don't want to hang around with.

However a friend of mine who I knew at school (from the year below) who came to my uni is part of the modelling society and although yes, she is very beautiful, she is fun and cool to hang around with. So that made things easier. One thing I did have to do is swallow my own pride (and there is an awful lot of it!) when it comes to photography. Yes I may think I know alot and as of recently I have this idea/dream of becoming a photographer, there are still going to be people who know more technically and take better pictures than me! So I have to take a back seat and admit to myself as well as them that I don't know everything (for those who know me you can appreciate the challenge!)
So not only do I think that I can learn from them if I suck in my big head, but they also have some cool equipment! I've been mind-showering what sort of photography I'd like to do and for the moment I thought I'd go generic and say portrait/studio work (weddings if I get the chance!). I've never done any studio work and only know the basics of lighting. However (again! (talk about a broken record!)) my brother has lent me some flashes, some flash stands, some umbrellas and some remote units to use. I haven't yet but within the next few weeks I will have. The other thing is that the photosoc has some (what I believe to be called) strobes. Basically high powered effectively professional studio flashes. The combination of the two of them and then the two "speedlights" that my brother has lent me gives me a good opportunity to come up with some good lighting effects. Now all I need is some vision and experience!

Well, experience is on the way. My friend, the aforementioned model has kindly agreed to give me an afternoon of her time so I can basically try stuff out. Put lights in random places and see what it looks like! I shall start with one light, then work my way up to four by the end of the afternoon! (Photosoc also has a white backdrop that I intend on stealing so they'll be "high key" photos (hopefully)).

Really these are the three great opportunities that I have been given. Although I have been slightly dented to find that my laptop has had a graphics card meltdown so I get funny purple lines down the screen. I took it in to be checked up on and sadly they've said it's had it, so I may need to delve into my vague attempt at a savings account and purchase a new computer. Bye bye dreams of a Mac Book Pro! Although I am planning on spending a reasonable amount of money on a new laptop so it can run all the necessary photographic software.

The other problem is that I'm petrified. Firstly the idea of being self-employed that sometimes money may not come in :S What if people don't like my work, what if this is like a photographic version of the tripe-factor where people tell me I'm great and encourage me and then it all goes wrong and someone honest says you've no hope in this lifetime to make it!
I've been feeling quite photographically inadequate recently. I've been trying to do research on different lighting techniques and found some stunning images that make me think how on earth does someones mind create that! I want to share with you my favourite picture of the moment. It's done by a guy called Blair Bunting and I found it on the strobists blog (http://strobist.blogspot.com/) the photo is this: (http://is.gd/53wQn) There is also a good explanation of how he did it here: (http://is.gd/53wUt) should you care. In my mind it's a truely astonishing photo!

Anyway! Too much ramblidge.
Priorities: New computer, photography session with model, work out life!

"That'll do donkey, that'll do"
That's what I have in my head about this post!
Sorry, it's very long, and not very funny then again they are just my thoughts!
You're the one who's actually read them!

Done for now.